little lessons
There's a overworked cliche: "out of the mouths of babes," ususally followed by "comes wisdom," or some such hackneyed phrase. I think it's paraphrased from scripture somewhere. But the gist is that one can sometimes learn from unexpected sources.I have a new variation: "from the bottoms of bottoms".
I constantly learn things from L. Not that I regard myself as some kind of near-omniscient Dom. Learning has been a lifelong joy for me, and I hope it always will be. As John Archibald Wheeler said, "We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance."
And it shouldn't surprise me that I can learn from her. The girl's intelligence is one of the first things that caught my attention, followed shortly thereafter by the realization that she has the most beautiful eyes on the planet.
I love to play. In years past, part of the enjoyment has been dragging out the BIG toybag. I enjoy a lot of variety in play, which often means I'll employ a half-dozen different floggers plus others tools and toys.
Lately, though, she's helped me learn the pure joy of more "minimalist" play... a simple barehanded spanking, or using just a cane.
No big production. No ten minute unpacking, no twenty minute repacking of the bag. No need to schedule days in advance the hour or two (or more) that I'd ideally like to spend.
Just a golden "moment," doing something I relish doing to her yeilding flesh. For her: my attention, my pain and my love. For me: an opportunity to express who and what I am, a chance to savor her submission, time to strengthen our bond.
The lesson? Simple pleasures may not necessarily always be the best, but they can be VERY damn good!
posted by John | 8:43 PM [permalink] | |
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
love/sick
I'm at home. Sick, basically. I'm sitting at the computer because there's no exertion in this, and because when I lay down I start coughing. The two cups of coffee I had earlier this morning because I thought they'd feel good to my throat are probably not helping me get the rest I feel I need. But it did feel good going down, and it helped warm me when I returned home soaked and chilled from taking my son to work.I should be in bed, and I'll try that again shortly. First, though, I need to post something here that I stumbled upon quite accidentally, and in what might seem an unlikely place: kate.nerdsluts.com. (Take a look at the site, it won't be what you might expect from the name.)
This is for L, my bottom and my swan:
I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
"Love" by Roy Croft (1937)
posted by John | 8:38 AM [permalink] | |
Monday, June 21, 2004
food for thought, words to live by, etc.
I sort of collect quotations, words of famous and less-than-famous people that strike me as particularly memorable. Some months ago I finally set up a small database to make finding one I might be booking for a little easier. For some reason I've never made my own collection of quotations related to the BDSM lifestyle, though. When there's a line I can't quite remember, I usually turn to Google. A couple of nice sites are here and here.A few days ago I found a nice set as a journal entry on Seatle Pro-Domme Mistress Matisse's weblog.
Among them was one that I did not remember ever seeing before, but that I particularly enjoyed:
"There are really two kinds of submissives in the world: those who believe they don't deserve any better…and those who believe they don't deserve any less."
posted by John | 11:26 AM [permalink] | |
Sunday, June 20, 2004
enough to warm your... heart
Here are a couple of goodies I encountered elsewhere. I enjoyed reading them enough that I decided to create this blog in order to have a convenient means of sharing such things. Both are via Spanking BlogBy Bad Bad Baby:
= = = = =
Monday night at bedtime MrMan informs me that he's gonna fuck me like i haven't ever been fucked before. i wasn't really feelin it...i wasn't feelin so great. i smartmouthed him and told him basically that i wasn't gonna let him have it. big mistake.
he had me on my tummy faster than you can say 'no, please' proceeded to smack me twice with our new paddle. HARD! i felt tears sting my eyes and i looked at him to see just how serious he was. he wasn't playing around. i felt myself slipping under and letting go. i relaxed my body because i knew i was going to be punished. he smacked me at least 10 times on each ass cheek until i was just barely breathing. then he made me turn on my back and he smacked me hard on the insides of my thighs. this was a new one for me and it hurt a lot more than i thought it would, but it made me so damn horny! i had this thought in the back of my mind that i wanted him to spank my pussy but i couldn't really say anything at the time. maybe next time.
he made me turn back onto my stomach and he wouldn't let me watch what he was doing. he grabbed my panties and ripped them down my body. he told me how i had huge welts on my ass and how he couldn't wait to fuck me. i waited for another spanking on my ass and i could feel my body tensing up in anticipation. when the paddle came down on the back of my thigh and then quickly to the other thigh i was sure i would cry...but he quickly made me forget that by paddling me hard and fast across the most tender spots on my ass that he had set afire just minutes before.
i could feel him becoming more and more aggressive and i could hear his deep ragged breaths. i started to get nervous, this is the first time i've ever felt as if he might lose control. when he grabbed me by my ankles to pull me onto his cock i fought him and grabbed across the bed to pull myself away. he immediately let go of my ankles and slammed two fingers into me so roughly that it took my breath away and caused my whole body to go limp. he fucked me with his fingers and rubbed his thumb across my clit until all my resistance was washed away and then he flipped me over and slipped into me before i even knew what hit me.
he fucked me so hard and had my knees jammed into my chest so far that i could barely breathe. his aggression was so intense...and so animalistic that i barely knew who he was. the sound he made when he came was one i had never heard before.
when he was finished he pushed me away from him and left me on my own, punished for saying no in the first place. no orgasm for baby. it was all so hot and erotic...but i wasn't allowed to cum. this was another first.
as i lay there catching my breath and falling asleep i felt all used up...just like the little cockwhore i am.
= = = = =
(full post here)
+ + + + + + + + + +
And this one, by Vikki. As a dominant, reading this made my hands itch to hold the handle of a flogger, long for the sound of leather on bare flesh. I can only imagine what it will stir within a submissive. Visit Vikki's site. It's not all personal, soul-baring writing such as this, but it's well worth a look.
= = = = =
It's dark and stormy outside right now. God, I love thunderstorms. They make me feel wild and sexy and unrestrained. It makes me want dark and dangerous things. All that power. It makes me shiver.
I miss many things about my time spent playing with BDSM, but one of the losses I've felt most keenly, particularly of late, is the feeling of being mastered. Mastered by someone who knows more than I, more in control than I, someone to whom I can give up control and allow them to lead me places that I can only imagine.
I miss the sting of the flogger; while I am far from a pain slut, there was something soothing, challenging, and incredibly fuckably sexy about presenting my ass for a good flogging. Particularly when tied standing up, facing a wall. Soothing, because it was good and solid contact, making me deliciously aware of my body. Challenging, to take the pain and turn it into pleasure, to fight the instincts of my body to curl up on itself and instead work through the pain - like how a good workout feels. And incredibly fuckably sexy, because in spite of what efforts I put forth, I'm deliciously aware that I am naked and they are not, they are watching my body's reactions to every stroke, and whether I want them to or not, they're likely aware of just how wet my pussy is getting.
Of course, it's sexier and hotter still when they pause to slide their fingers into my pussy, just to make sure. Making small comments about how wet I am. The shame and the pain and the contact brings high colour to my cheeks and makes me whimper. Body on fire.
I miss the feel of good, solid restraints around my wrists. The challenge of holding my body properly when restrained. The excitement of wanting to move, to gesture, to touch them, and not being able to until they allow it.
I miss being on my knees, finally allowed to lick them and slide them in my mouth, particularly when my hands are bound behind me. The challenge of doing so with my balance just slightly off-kilter. And the incredible sexy pleasure when I sense that I am pleasing them. A hand on the back of my head, helping to guide, and also stroking to tell me that I am being a very good bad little girl.
But most of all I miss trusting someone enough to do all of those things. Trusting them to be wiser, more controlled, trusting their imagination and understanding of my body to guide us through a scene of their devising. Trusting that they will challenge me when I need it, soothe me when I need it, and be present for me if my submission is particularly difficult or emotionally trying. Trusting them to know my limits, and help me play the edges of those limits, expanding my abilities and bringing me greater faith in myself and that of my master.
= = = = =
(full post here)
posted by John | 11:17 PM [permalink] | |
